How does the Wait Mate pledge work?
The pledge will empower parents to rally together to delay the smartphone. By banding together, this will decrease the pressure within the child’s year group to have a smartphone.
By signing the online pledge, you promise not to give your child a smartphone until at least High School and as long as at least 10 families in total from your child’s year level pledge, the campaign will unlock. Once 10 families have pledged, you will be notified that the pledge is in effect! You will receive a list of children whose parents have signed (identified by first name and last initial only). It is helpful to be connected with other families waiting in your child’s year group in order to talk to your child about the issue too.
The email forms a group that can be replied to at any time to continue the conversation or share articles or resources with aligned families. This list is dynamically updated as new families join and shared with the whole group once a month (so we don’t spam you daily!).
We will not share your information with any third parties outside of our organisation in line with our privacy policy which you can read for more details and reassurance.
How does pledging help? Can I just decide to say no to my kid?
You sure can say no to your kid but for some parents it becomes almost impossible to hold this boundary when their child is “the only one” without a smartphone and socially excluded as a result. This is why pledging helps. WAIT MATE connects you with like-minded families in your child’s year group so you can have open conversations with your child about which of their peers don’t have a smartphone and aren't getting one until at least high school either. This also helps to keep parents accountable to one another and more likely to wait until the end of their pledge as the unlock email you receive when 10 families pledge in your cohort identifies the other children (by first name and last name initial) and the year their parents have pledged until. It helps to encourage fellow parents to pledge so you can stay strong in numbers.
How does Wait Mate connect me with aligned parents?
Wait Mate sends a group email to all families that have pledged in a particular school cohort when it unlocks (i.e. meets the minimum requirement of 10 families that have pledged). This email group contains all the email addresses of aligned parents (under the umbrella of an email address alias) and can be replied to at any time to communicate and connect with fellow parents. As new families in your cohort join the pledge, this group is dynamically updated and everyone in the group is emailed monthly with an updated list of the children (identified by first name and last name initial) that are now part of the pledge. This group email is the best way to communicate with like-minded parents who have pledged, but groups may also choose to self organise with a WhatsApp group or similar.
What if I want to change my pledge to end earlier or later?
No problem, just take the pledge again to update this information.
What happens after I sign the pledge?
After you sign the pledge, you will receive an email from WAIT MATE notifying you of your pledge. When it unlocks at 10 families, you will be connected with them. Every month you will receive an update listing additional families that have joined the pledge in your cohort.
Is my pledge anonymous?
The pledge is anonymous until the pledge becomes active. Once 10 or more families from the same grade and school sign, then the pledge becomes "active," and you will be notified along with the other parents who have signed from the cohort. At this point, the pledge is not anonymous and you know the other families on board (identified by child name and last name initial). It helps to know the other families you are waiting with on this big issue.
Your pledge is not posted anywhere or made known publicly. The only other people who know you have signed the pledge are the parents from your child's year and school, and ONLY IF you have an active pledge. We take data privacy and security very seriously. Please view our privacy policy for more on this. We only collect minimum data to make your child identifiable to their peers and to allow us to de-duplicate a family so their child is only counted once (for example, in the instance where two parents may sign for the same child).
How will I know when the pledge is active?
Once 10 parents from your child's grade and school sign the pledge, WAIT MATE will send a group email to the families who have signed. This will help you support one another in waiting. Then moving forward, WAIT MATE will notify the group of any new additions to the pledge. These updates are typically sent every month.
How do I bring the pledge to my school?
To start the pledge at your school, simply take the pledge yourself and encourage other parents to sign as well. This is a parent driven initiative that will hopefully be supported by school policy on the use of smartphones in school grounds.
Can the pledge be updated as I progress through the years?
Yes by pledging again!
Do you have any materials I could use to share at my school and community?
Yes! Please go to our resources for many materials you may share in your community. Or contact us for something more specific.
When do most kids currently get smartphones?
The average age a child gets a smartphone is 10 years old. The pressure for a smartphone creeps in around Year 4.
When should I give my child a smartphone?
At WAIT MATE, along with psychologists and researchers, we recommend delaying smartphones until at least High School. Depending on your child this could be year 7, 8 or 9.
When do most kids start using social media?
The average child is using social media by the age of 13. 40% of tweens between the ages of 8 and 12 use social media. The current legal requirement is 13 but this is under review with bipartisan support to delay this to 16.
When should I allow my children to start using social media?
WAIT MATE, along with psychologists and researchers, recommends delaying social media until at least 16.
Why wait until at least high school for a smartphone?
Children’s brains are not developed at a young age to manage the addictive nature of smartphones. With smartphones in hand, children will spend hours on screen taking time away from childhood activities like play, face to face relationships and physical activity.
Children are receiving smartphones as early as Year 3 with the majority of kids having a personal device by Year 5. It is very challenging to gain group momentum around the concept of delaying the smartphone until high school. Delaying the smartphone is feasible if parent communities work together to agree to delay and therefore reduce the social pressure to own a device. This gives kids more time for their brains to develop to better handle the distractions and dangers that come with the smartphone.
We want our kids to be kids for longer and enjoy what childhood can offer. Join us in supporting your kids too.
Does this mean I will allow my child to have a smartphone at the end of my pledge?
No! By signing the pledge, you are agreeing to wait before you permit your child to have a smartphone. This does not mean that you agree to give them a smartphone at this time. You are delaying this technology until high school and then as a family you can reassess the situation at the time.
Some families may think their child is ready for a smartphone and others may determine a basic phone is better until their child is older.
What if I need to get in touch with my child before then?
WAIT MATE recommends you consider buying your child a basic phone or a two-way calling watch. This pledge is for smartphones only. If you would like your child to have a basic phone that just calls and texts, you still can sign the pledge. The basic phone avoids many of the distractions and dangers of the smartphone. View our blog post for more on this.
What about a smartwatch? Can I get my child a smartwatch and still sign the pledge?
Yes. The pledge is for smartphones only. If you do get a smartwatch for your child, proceed with caution. Smartwatches can be very distracting, especially when taken to school. In addition, a child is able to access some inappropriate content on some smartwatches.
Turn off notifications on the watch during the school day. Disable the child’s ability to download apps to the smartwatch.
Check out advice from Protect Young Eyes if you are considering an Apple Watch.
What is the difference between a smartphone and a basic phone?
A smartphone is a mobile phone that has access to an internet browser and an App Store. A basic phone is a phone that is used for the basic purpose of making calls and receiving calls. It also allows users to send and receive text messages. The Wait Mate pledge is encouraging parents to delay the smartphone until at least High School. If you would like your child to have a basic phone that just calls and texts, you still can sign the pledge! The basic phone avoids many of the distractions and dangers of the smartphone. See our blog post on smartphone alternatives for more on this.
Where do I find a basic phone?
Please visit the WAIT MATE resource list of options. We have listed several basic phones and two-way calling watches. A basic phone or two-way calling watch avoids many of the distractions and dangers of the smartphone.
What is the difference between a smartphone and an iPad? How does the pledge deal with iPads?
Some parents have questioned if there is really a difference in allowing their child to have a smartphone and permitting them to have an iPad. There is a huge difference. No one walks around with an iPad in their pocket like a smartphone. The smartphone is essentially a mini-computer in your child's hands throughout the day. Typically an iPad is used within the home or for travel.
The pledge is to delay getting your child their own smartphone until, at least, high school. How you manage iPad use in your home is a personal decision, however, we have some advice in our resource section on this topic.
My child already has a smartphone. Is it too late to be part of this movement?
No! It is never too late to change your mind as a parent. Please share with your child that many families in their grade have decided that it is better to wait to have a smartphone. You can discuss with your child the many reasons families in their community are waiting until children are older for the smartphone. If your family is used to communicating with the phone and cannot go back to ‘no’ phone for the child, another option would be to replace the child's smartphone with a basic phone that just calls and texts. Switching from a smartphone to a basic phone will help protect your child from the many pitfalls of a phone-based childhood.
My child's sibling got a smartphone earlier. How do I switch gears with this child?
If your child has siblings that have received a phone earlier, then you can explain to the child that each child and year group is unique. Circumstances and community shape how parents make decisions for each child. You can articulate that after much thought, you have concluded that it would be best to wait due to new information that has emerged about the impact of smartphones on childhood. You can ensure them that other children in their year are following the same path and they will not be the only person without a smartphone.
I want my child to connect with friends outside of school, but I am not ready to say yes to the smartphone. What should I do?
Here’s one family's story: We decided as a family to give our son in year 6 an old iPad to connect with peers via texting and FaceTime ensuring it was kept in the kitchen and family room. This was a nice way for him and his peers to connect online but it was limited to a space within our home versus always available to them on a smartphone. Everything was removed on the iPad except iMessage and FaceTime (no App Store, no games, no internet browser, etc). This got us through without a smartphone. Some WAIT MATE families will allow a basic phone for communication with peers.
Many families are bringing back the landline, with there being options available now that are powered by the internet or an old phone (which can sit in a drawer and not be used for communication but rather to power the cordless landline). There are also a myriad of safe devices that we recommend that can be used to also speak to friends and family. Please view our blog for more.
We waited for a smartphone. Now what?
You did it! Congratulations!
We suggest you determine if there is a need for a smartphone for your child. Some families make it to the end of Year 7, 8 or 9 and then decide there is still not a need for a smartphone or that their child is not ready for this responsibility.
If you do determine your family is ready for a smartphone, be sure you have many conversations about how to use the smartphone responsibly and moderately. Some families draw up a contract between parent and child to set out expectations with how the device is used. We don’t recommend handing over a fully loaded smartphone to a child.